People always ask me if I've ever thought a patient is hot, and would I date one. Listen people........this is not Grey's Anatomy. We don't marry patients, ala-Izzy-Stevens-style, and patients usually see you for a problem, which means they are either bleeding, smelly, old or dying. So....to answer the question ...NO!
Until one day.......when I had my first patient crush.
Patient HOT! arrived for a consultation, complaining of small lumps on his torso. Sounds simple enough until......
LMM: Hello I am LMM. How can I help you?
Patient HOT!: Hi, I have this problem with these small lumps that have been developing on my chest.
LMM: OK, let's have a look. Please come over to the examination bed.
Patient HOT!: Sorry if I am a bit sweaty, I ran over here as I was a bit late.
LMM: (giggles)....No problem
(INSERT: Patient HOT! is well, HOT. He is in his late twenties, rides a motorbike - he had a helmet with him- and has the body of a Greek Adonis)
LMM: Do you mind removing your shirt so I can examine you?
(He strips off his shirt to reveal washboard abs and ripped biceps)
Patient HOT!: The lumps are here.........
(He takes my hand and pushes them onto his 8-pack. I can hardly feel anything. I am dizzy. I am now the one sweating)
Patient HOT!: Are you OK?
LMM: Yes....um........they seem to be normal lipomas. Small deposits of fat which are completely normal, but you can have them removed if you want.
Patient HOT!: I think I would like to have them removed as they don't look great for my sport.
LMM: And what sport is that?
Patient HOT!: I do Muay Thai competitively and I've noticed that these lumps keep getting bigger.
(He fights. He would fight for me....and protect me....SWOON!)
LMM: Why of course. I can see how it would affect your performance. I can refer you to a surgeon.
Patient HOT!: Great, thank you so much
LMM: Here is your referral. Thank you and good luck.
Patient HOT!: Thanks, Bye
(He leaves the office.)
LMM: Call me!
I spent the rest of the day in a woozy delight. I had a smile on my face and went home that evening and excitedly told The Boyf all about my very first patient crush.
So, YES it does happen. But not often!