Patient Crush

People always ask me if I've ever thought a patient is hot, and would I date one. Listen people........this is not Grey's Anatomy. We don't marry patients, ala-Izzy-Stevens-style, and patients usually see you for a problem, which means they are either bleeding, smelly, old or dying. So....to answer the question ...NO!

Until one day.......when I had my first patient crush.

Patient HOT! arrived for a consultation, complaining of small lumps on his torso. Sounds simple enough until......

LMM: Hello I am LMM. How can I help you?

Patient HOT!: Hi, I have this problem with these small lumps that have been developing on my chest.

LMM: OK, let's have a look. Please come over to the examination bed.

Patient HOT!: Sorry if I am a bit sweaty, I ran over here as I was a bit late.

LMM: (giggles)....No problem

(INSERT: Patient HOT! is well, HOT. He is in his late twenties, rides a motorbike - he had a helmet with him- and has the body of a Greek Adonis)

LMM: Do you mind removing your shirt so I can examine you?

(He strips off his shirt to reveal washboard abs and ripped biceps)

Patient HOT!: The lumps are here.........

(He takes my hand and pushes them onto his 8-pack. I can hardly feel anything. I am dizzy. I am now the one sweating)

LMM: Um......Ok......right......

Patient HOT!: Are you OK?

LMM: Yes....um........they seem to be normal lipomas. Small deposits of fat which are completely normal, but you can have them removed if you want.

Patient HOT!: I think I would like to have them removed as they don't look great for my sport.

LMM: And what sport is that?

Patient HOT!: I do Muay Thai competitively and I've noticed that these lumps keep getting bigger.

(He fights. He would fight for me....and protect me....SWOON!)

LMM: Why of course. I can see how it would affect your performance. I can refer you to a surgeon.

Patient HOT!: Great, thank you so much

LMM: Here is your referral. Thank you and good luck.

Patient HOT!: Thanks, Bye

(He leaves the office.)

LMM: Call me!

I spent the rest of the day in a woozy delight. I had a smile on my face and went home that evening and excitedly told The Boyf all about my very first patient crush.

So, YES it does happen. But not often!




angie said...

i have actually often wondered about doctors getting crushes, for real! hahha, loved your story by the way x

Little Miss Medic said...

Thanks Angie! One month ago I would have said NEVER! :)


Anonymous said...

I was so glad to find your post! I have been feeling like a dirty old cougar lately. I am a 44 year old wound care nurse in an outpatient clinic. A lovely 25 year old man with an abscess on his otherwise perfect backside had an I&D by one our docs. He came in weekly for follow-up until the wound was closed. He was so sweet, intelligent, and handsome (with an Adonis body mind you) I was swooning every time I had to change the dressing on his beautiful bare bum. He has since healed never to return. I am a happily married woman old enough to be that young man's mother, but boy was the fantasy fun!

Anonymous said...

i enjoyed reading your story and the wicked sense of humour =) don't you wish you are the surgeon too? hehe

Anonymous said...

Hi your a doctor where is your common sense. Yeah people get crushes its normal. You need to either dismiss the feelings or get a screw that's loose in your head fixed. Its okay to have crushes its happened lots... For example with my previous doctor and I. I know I'm not the only in one who does (have a crush on him). Look all I'm saying is if I was a medical professional I would at least refer the patient to a different doctor or take it as a compliment ( yes we sometimes come across people who look good but there is a time and place to go "Goo-Goo" over them.)Being in the medical field requires great resilience to pressure and stress. If you continue to do such things you might end up loosing your job. You need to remind yourself of the rules and protocol of physicians and Nurses. It would be unethical for you to act on it and it doesn't matter if its someone who is your coworker either. Your in a great profession don't burn out it out or waste that precious talent that so many health care providers have. Do not waste Eight years of school that I can't even get into (I wish I could though). it would be a shame to the health care industry. Even I know this and I'm certainly not a doctor.


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