Faux Pas

Ever had an epic faux pas? I have had many. I think it goes with being blonde. My latest one involved telling a new mother with HIV over and over again how to give her baby antiretrovirals. She kept telling me she was negative. Bless. Denial. Until...I realised I had the wrong folder. EISH!

Read about my funniest one here...

The Boyf has his own little faux pas yesterday at work.  He is also a doctor, working in Orthopaedics, but he does some casualty locum work too.This is the BBM I got...

THE BOYF: Just asked a Mom if her child was Down Syndrome.


TB: She said "No."

LMM: Did the child look Down Syndrome?

TB: Yes!

Shame. It happens to the best of us. But there are a lot of people out there who do look DS and aren't!




Most Scary

I am on call again today and had a quick break in the day to come home for lunch, a rare treat. I am hoping for a particularly quiet night as I am feeling quite run down and tired.

Medicine can at times be quite scary. Whether you are facing an aggressive patient who wants to turn you into mince meat or are doing a procedure that you haven't been trained to do, but are winging it, to try and save a life, things are definitely scary!

A few weeks ago, whilst I was on call, I was summoned to the ward at 3am. A patient had miscarried at 4 months and the fetus needs to be examined by a doctor. I went up to the ward and found a little package waiting for me in the sluice room. This is the part that I hate. A baby at this gestation, is fully formed, but looks like a little alien. I unwrapped the plastic and something moved in my hands. I shrieked loudly and one of the nurses came running to see what was the matter.

NURSE: Doctor are you OK?

LITTLE MISS MEDIC: Yes but the baby moved.

NURSE: Ha, ha Doctor. You are funny! It can't move, it is dead!

LMM: But I swear I felt it touch my arm.

After much convincing and hand holding the nurse finally examined the fetus with me. Its little limp arm had flopped over and that was what I had been so afraid of. It was a perfectly formed baby girl, with the cutest little fingers and toes. So sad. I weighed it and documented all my findings.

I wrapped it up again and took it with me to Labour Ward to deposit it in the chest freezer. This freezer looks like a normal freezer that you would keep extra meat in, perfectly harmless. I lifted the lid and pulled back a paper covering...


Lying underneath the covering where 4 little frozen babies. Just lying there. In a row.  Definitely the freakiest way to keep the fetuses. I mean c'mon. Wrap them up. In dark plastic. Or something. That is horror film material right there!


A week later I was on call again and could not prevent myself from having another peek in the freezer...

There were only frozen placentas this time, not so exciting!

This is now my favourite trick to play on the medical students...hee hee.

Let's hope no mini corpses tonight!!!





The lovely Lulu from Berry Diaries is having an awesome giveaway here! Go and have a look.

Good luck!



Massage Bliss

People always ask, "How do you stay awake for 30 hours?". With great difficulty, is my answer. Luckily the labour ward is such a high turnover place that there is little time to sit down, let alone pee. I go to work on call days, prepared to go into combat. I have every food type imaginable and am even armed with extra underwear in cases of spillage. My Crocs, unfortunately are a vital part of my armour, much to the dismay of my friends and family. Everyone has call superstitions. I never take a toothbrush or magazines on call, because that implies that I would get to sleep or relax and if you have these items, Murphy's Law, it will be crazy.

Today I got home after a 26 hour call and felt like a bus had ridden over me, reversed and then done a wheel spin over my head. But, I didn't care, because I had the perfect post call treat lined up for myself.

A massage..... :)

The amazing Ingrid came to give me the most heavenly massage known to man. In the comfort of your own home, she comes prepared with a plinth, relaxing music and the hands of an angel. If I can give you one tip: try one of her massages, relaxation like I have never known. I have had a lot of dodgy massages and this rates as a firm number 1!

(Unfortunately only for those in the Cape Town area.)

Now for tea in bed :)




Goodies :)

I won some amazing goodies a while back on the lovely Jacci's blog, What Jacci Did Next. Initially I had been given the wrong parcel at the Post Office, ending up with church paraphernalia, but eventually I got my grubby paws on the real deal.

getting parcels always makes me feel like a small, excited kid!

I won yummy Starbucks coffee bags (like a teabag but with coffee) and awesome Cath Kidston stuff (tissues, lip balm, badges and a cute mini purse).

Thanks Jacci!





When meeting non medical people at say, a dinner party, the same question always pops up. What is the worst thing you have ever seen? or What is the most hectic? or the Grossest?

I have decided to do a series of "The Most..." and hopefully it satisfies your curiosity.


Most Gross Thing...

I have seen a lot of disgusting things. From pus coming out of every place imaginable, to limbs literally hanging on by a thread. Medicine is also full of weird and wonderful smells, warm placenta being right up there with gangrenous digits. I have quite a strong stomach; I can plan my next meal whilst operating, and enjoy a sandwich whilst in the labour ward. But hands down the grossest thing, the thing that makes me mock charge, or even vomit just a little bit in my mouth has to be The Diabetic Foot. 

This belongs to a diabetic patient with poor sugar control. Basically their foot becomes rotten and putrid and often requires amputation. You can smell the patient even before entering a ward. They usually come into the hospital with a checkers packet tied around their offending limb, and you just know what is awaiting you under the wrap of plastic. The absolutely cherry on top, and the gag factor for me is... MAGGOTS! Yip, they often have maggots in the wound. The maggots actually make the wound cleaner as they eat all the dead tissue and leave the tissue that is viable behind.

Warning! If you have a weak stomach, do not scroll down!

And now imagine the smell!




Dear Pregnant Mommies

Dear Pregnant Mommies,

Please do not use Tik whilst you are pregnant and especially not before you come to hospital, in labour. It makes my life very difficult when I have to try and urge you to push out your poor, helpless baby, whilst you shriek and perform like a crazy banshee. Please also admit to using Tik straight off the bat. I can spot you a mile away and even though you deny it, you just have that "tikked" up look about you. It would help if you told us when you last used and how often you did. Please do not curse or spit at me, bite or hit me and definitely do not throw faeces at me.

I would greatly appreciate your cooperation.


Little Miss Medic



To my darling Mom


Love you!




I'm back!

So it has been a whirlwind month for me and I am sorry that I had to neglect my blog. Besides The Boyf’s prodigal return from London, moving into a new home and applying for a post to start specializing, we acquired the cutest little creature, called Max. He is a wire-haired daschund cross.

We were super keen to get a beagle, it being THE only breed of dog that we could both agree on, but alas, due to the fact that we own zero furniture and have had to buy everything, forking out R6000 for a dog, was not feasible.

And that is how we found Max. I used a website called Furkidz and stumbled upon an amazing organisation called Second Chance. Max and his 7 siblings had been born to wire-haired daschund mommy. The owner, not wanting to deal with the pups, took them to the local vet to be put down. What an absolute retard! There are never a shortage of good homes when it comes to puppies. I think this crazy fuckwit, needs to have his dog confiscated and should be taken to his local GP for a potassium chloride injection!

Max is the absolute cutest thing since Hello Kitty. He has adapted so well to our humble abode and we love him to bits. Needless to say he can be rather cheeky and I will often find a stray ballet pump in the garden or a new hole that he has dug, but besides that, his sweet puppy breath makes up for it!

Knocked out after a long day of playing

Spot the scrub gown as his blanket :)

First visit to the beach

Look at that face!

So I am back for good and the posts will be flowing from now on!


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