Ode to the female retard...

Last night I saw a patient. She was 29. She. Was. Also. A. Retard!

"So I put in a tampon today and now I can't find it! I even asked my boyfriend to look but he can't find it either."
Deep breath in!

This is excatly what I feel like doing at 11pm, hunting for a lost tampon.

"Are you sure you didn't take it out and that you don't remember!"
"I definitely didn't take it out. And I am worried as I've forgotten to take one out before for 3 weeks and it was really gross and........"
STOP right there! I do not want details.

I examine her and do not find the "lost" item.

"It's definitely not there. Maybe try remembering if you remove it or not next time, or write it down."

10:00am - insert tampon

16:00pm - insert ANOTHER tampon

04:00 - realise I am a retard and rush to the ER in the middle of the night

Note to self: do NOT procreate!!!

So this week's tip: Keep track of your tampon :)


1 comment:

Bobby said...

Maybe it made it all the way up to her brain and that's why she's a retard? I used to work in the public library. We had some interesting characters come in there too.

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