Blondes will be blondes...

I haven't had a really bad blonde moment since my last accidental episode, so I guess it was time for the "stupid" gene to make an appearance again.

Since living in London, I hate to admit it, but I have suffered a bit from the Heathrow Injection. It is almost impossible to find time to exercise when you are doing juggled shift work. It is always dark and going for a run in the dark, is not my favourite past time. That being said, a lot of people do manage to do it, but I am not going to purchase reflective gear and hobble around like flashing Christmas tree just to run 900m (that is all I can manage at this stage). Excuses, excuses!

So I have taken to the eating less route. I am really good! I have cut out chips (crisps) completely, no chocolate, no pizza, no alcohol, lots of fruit, veggies and water. So why have I not lost weight? I couldn't for the life of me figure it out. Until...

...I was making dinner last night! I am bit of a sucker for convenience and often eat the lovely tortellinis from Sainsburys. I only add pesto or a tomato sauce and it's heaven in a bowl in under 5 min. I end up eating this every second night, until...I looked at the calorie count on the packet.

1/2 a packet contains 420 calories

I usually eat 1/2.  OK 2/3rds.  OK ALL of it. Then add the sauce. That's practically 1000 calories that I slam into my face every night, whilst wondering why I am not losing weight. I. Am. A. Retard!!!!

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I threw the pack of delicious filled tortellini in the bin and high-tailed it back to Sainsbury's to purchase some more appropriate calorated food.


LMM

xoxo

New Year's Resolutions

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I am notorious for not holding myself to ANY of my resolutions and that's why last year I refused to make any, thinking it was silly, if I wouldn't complete any of them anyway. Come August, I had changed my mind and swiftly made 4 month resolutions to complete before the end of the year. No one (unless you are one of those people I hate) will stick to all of them, but it is all about bettering ourselves and having goals to achieve, which pushes you that extra bit. So without further ado, these are my 2012 resolutions...

• try and save a bit each month (I never put any money aside....ever! I think that needs to change)
• exercise every 3rd day at least! That works out to be 121.66 days of the year. Since I have been in London I have probably exercised 20 times, if that, and that's in 15 months.......eek!!!!
• to not always eat till I feel full
• to put more effort into the friendships that are reciprocated and to let the others fall by the wayside
• to get a dog...preferably a beagle :)
• to start a book club when back in Cape Town (or a wine slash gossip club)
• to visit my favourite spots in the Kruger Park
• to stop living for the future and enjoy today
• to learn more about photography

I think that's enough for the time being...all very serious. I also want to have a mini resolution for the beginning of each month and I challenge you to do the same. Stay tuned for January's one.

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What are your resolutions for 2012?

LMM

xoxo

Dukan Fail

I have been avoiding writing this post, because to write it means I am admitting defeat.

Dukan Diet = epic fail

I really did try and I do have excuses, even though they are still just excuses.

My excuses:

1. it is very difficult to eat protein only or even protein and vegetables when in Belgium in the middle of nowhere at a rock festival where they only sell beer, sausages and glorious frites smothered in mayonnaise.

2. it is very difficult to eat protein only or even protein and vegetables when in Spain on la Rambla or in Mallorca when you are faced with a menu of wonderful paellas (which I ate everyday for 10 days straight)

3. it is very difficult to eat protein only or even protein and vegetables when you just don't feel like it because if you eat one more slice of turkey breast or one more flippin hard boiled egg.....you might just chunder 2 weeks worth of protein that dumbass Mr Dukan has suggested you eat.

I know....I've gotten to the anger stage. Now I am just in the I-will-eat-whatever-I-please-Mr-Dookey-Dookan.....childish I know!




LMM

xoxo

Julie and Julia

I finished this book a few weeks ago and absolutely loved it. It is the true story of how Julie Powell decides to cook her way through Julia Child's cookbook in one year, whilst blogging about it.

"Government drone by day, renegade foodie by night. Too old for theatre, too young for children, and too bitter for anything else, Julie Powell was looking for a challenge. And in the Julie/Julia project she found it. Risking her marriage, her job, and her cats' well-being, she has signed on for a deranged assignment.
365 days. 536 recipes. One girl and a crappy outer borough kitchen.
How far will it go? We can only wait. And wait. And wait...
The Julie/Julia Project. Coming soon to a computer terminal near you."

~~ Julia Powell
Sunday, August 25, 2002

Julie Powell and her gimlet making husband live in New York. She has a rather dull desk job and decides to take on this great task in order to add more meaning and lustre to her life. Not being able to cook properly and doing it in the mouldy shamble, that is their flat, makes for a highly amusing read. Her wit and sharp passages give one a Sex in The City feel, all the while retaining the wholesomeness of the food.


I would definitely recommend this book.....with a few snacks on hand.



LMM


xoxo

Dukan Diet Day 4 and Patient X

Today The ATTACK PHASE is over....whoop whoop!
This means that I get to add vegetables.........not potatoes though :(

Phase 2 - Cruise Phase

This is where you are supposed to continue losing weight at a steady pace. My cruise phase is going to last 28 days (depends on how much weight you have to lose). In this phase you alternate between protein only days and protein + veg days. I have chosen to do a ratio on 1:1, alternating the days as 5:5 would kill me.

So far I have lost 2 kgs and am excited to see how the next phase goes. This means that no carbs will touch my lips for 31 days...................ok, except my little sushi cheat.

Enough about the diet........



The other day I had a sixty-something year old man come to see me. He wanted STD testing....surprise, surprise! I waited for him to begin his ramble of how he did something stupid and it only happened once and he has been ridden with guilt......blah BLAH BLAH!

But he didn't..........

Patient X: I travelled to Hong Kong recently and at my hotel I went for a massage.

LMM: Yes.... (massage seems to be the euphimistic term for getting it on)

Patient X: I had only booked a back massage and suddenly during the massage, the woman licked her fingers and inserted them into my anus.

LMM:.......gasp......(jaw drops to floor)

Patient X: I was so shocked at the time and immediately left. I have been worrying about it constantly since then and if they do this kind of thing, they must surely do other things. This led me to think that I might have contracted an STD.

LMM: The risk is low, but it definitely is a possibility. I would suggest testing.

Patient X: Is this a common practice? Am I so out of the loop that I misunderstood what a massage means?

LMM: No, not at all. But some of these institutions cater for other things as well and being Asia, they obviously assumed a man having a massage on his own, would want that.

Patient X: Well I felt violated and was horrifed!

LMM: I understand.................................

5 minutes later he was on his way, anus swabbed, and feeling better. His results came back clear and he would definitey think twice about getting a massage in the future.

Shame...poor guy..........


LMM


xoxo

Dukan Diet Day 1

I have decided to try the Dukan Diet. The Dukan Diet was started by French nutritionist Pierre Dukan and has been followed by J-Lo, Gisele and Pippa Middleton. I am doing it partly for weight loss and also partly because my diet consists almost ONLY of carbs, which can't be a good thing.

Phase 1 is the Attack phase and lasts 5-7 days. It involves eating only protein. Lean meat, eggs, fat free yoghurt and oat bran, are the only things you are allowed to consume. Tea and coffee is allowed, but only with skim milk and sweetner. Other than that you can drink water and diet drinks.

The next phases involve bringing in vegetables, whilst still keeping some days as protein only days. And then slowly introducing carbs back. It sounds like an easy enough diet.

"1 – A brief and headlong ATTACK phase with immediate results. During this phase, the diet is made up of 72 high-protein foods enabling quick weight loss.
2 - A CRUISE phase leading to the True Weight. During this phase, the diet alternates Pure Protein days (PP phases) and Proteins accompanied with 28 recommended Vegetables (PV phases).


3 - A CONSOLIDATION phase of 10 days per kg lost which prepares for the return to a balanced diet. Monitored freedom with a target of establishing this freshly conquered and still vulnerable ideal weight. This phase sees the gradual return of pleasurable foods with two festive meals.


4 - A definitive stabilization phase based on 3 simple, concrete, easy but non-negotiable measures. This phase is both the easiest and most essential in our slimming method because 95% of people who follow a diet put back on the weight they have lost. "

I started last night by going to Sainsbury's after work. In my basket I had lean mince, chicken breasts, ham, prawns, salmon, smoked salmon, eggs and fat free yoghurt. Dinner wasn't too bad, we had meatballs and prawns. They don't really go together but they tasted fine.

This morning I could not face eggs and was pining after my ususal Special K. I settled on fat free yoghurt.

O9h50: I am starving! I can't even have my normal tea with 2 sugars and instead am drinking peppermint tea.
Thinking of lunch makes me want to be ill......prawns, ham and cooked chicken breast.......YUM....not!
I just want a sandwich, a muffin........something normal, which doesn't involve eating animal flesh.

On the up side I have lost 1kg in one day.

We will see how the day progresses, hopefully my willpower is strong enough.

What do you think of the Dukan Diet?


LMM

xoxo

Night out in London

Had an amazing night last night! Started off with Dinner at Jamie Oliver's restaurant, Jamie's Italian.

I had never been before and I can only sum it up in one word.........PHENOMENAL.

The Boyf had no idea what I had planned for our night out and was as blown away as I was. I started off my meal with a basket of different assortments of freshly baked breads, served with olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Heaven in a basket!

For mains I had a mushroom panzerotti, which was cooked with grilled sage, chilli, porchini mushrooms and drizzled with parmesan and olive oil. YUM!

The Boyf had a Lamb Ragu, which was as delicious.

So if you ever in London, Jamie's Italian is a must. Awesome food, in a totally relaxed setting. Its like fine dining in an unpretentious atmosphere.

We then headed off to watch The Lion King at the Lyceum Theatre.

The Boyf had never seen it before and was like a small child in a candy shop. The best part.....a lot of the cast was South African. Rafiki, the wise baboon, was played by Brown Lindiwe Mkhize from Durban, who was the highlight for me. She even threw in a few "woza lapha"s for extra measure. Simba was also played by one of our own, Andile Gumbi.

All in all a brilliant night out!


LMM


xoxo