Being blonde, I have spent most of my life being plagued by the infamous "blonde moment". I do tend to have a few, but as I have 'matured', they seem to be few and far between...except for today.........
I am locuming in a practice this week that does mainly travel vaccines and STD testing. Most of the patients are rich business men who want to come somewhere discreet to make sure their naughty night-time endeavours haven't left them infected.
Today I was doing an instant HIV test on someone. This involves doing a fingerprick test and using a drop of blood with a kit. As I was pricking his finger, I suddenly felt a sharp prick in my finger. I tried not to scream out in pain, as I quickly realised that I had inadvertently held the gadget the wrong way and punctured my own finger. I quickly told him that this one was faulty and got another one. I had to repeat it and try to hide the slowly growing red patch beneath my glove. I think I managed to disguise my little faux pas, but I felt like a right idiot. Not to mention that my finger is now throbbing!
Another gem of a story, and this one is rather embarrassing, was when I was a fourth year medical student doing my Obstetrics rotation. Seeing this was my first time rotating through this discipline, I basically knew NOTHING. One of the skills we had to learn was how to do a PV exam. PV stands for per vaginal, and involves doing a vaginal exam with your fingers. Sounds gross and it is gross.
One of the first exams I did was on a coloured woman in labour. I slipped on my gloves and prepared myself for what I was about to do. As I inserted my fingers, she suddenly screamed,
"Fok nee, dis die verkeerde gat!"
I had unintentionally done a PR (per rectum).........OOPS!