Meet Khuzwayo

Time to meet another legendary patient.................


I met Khuzwayo in 2008, whilst I was working in a Medical Ward. It was supposed to be a stepdown medical ward, but was in fact a psych ward. Khuzwayo was a psych patient. He. Was. CRAZY!

Every morning I would arrive in the ward and prepare to start seeing all the patients. I would start in the front and make my way to the back of the ward. Khuzwayo's bed was at the back, but he could not wait there patiently for me to see him. Every few minutes he would come running up to me. Each day he had a new riddle for me and they went something like this........

Day 1      "Tell me Dokotela, what is the relationship between you and a parachute?"

Day 2      "Dokotela, what is the realtionship between you and paradise?"

Day 3      "One question, what is the realtionship between you and a parasite?"

and so it went on......each day a new question, always with the prefix para-

Initially I would try to answer these riddles, but after a while I would simply ask him to go back to his bed and stop bothering me. Khuzwayo demanded an answer and attention, and if he didn't get either he would unceremoniously, without fail, collapse to the floor and start to have a "seizure".

I call it a "seizure" because it wasn't in the slighest wave, shape or form a real one, but regardless he would start jerking his body and if you were lucky some drool would come out of the corner of his mouth. The first time he did this I called the nurse for some valium and she swiftly told me....

"Eish, that Khuzwayo is a faker. Don't believe his silly ways. Just leave him!"
On any given day, one could see Khuzwayo running around various parts of the hospital grounds. His ward was a lockdown ward, but being somewhat of a Houdini, he would always manage an escape. One day whilst driving towards the gate to leave the Hospital, I saw him lying on the ground, having a "seizure", whilst security gurads rushed to his aid. He had one eye open, to survey the situation and as they approached him, he made a full "recovery" and sprinted away.

Ah Khuzwayo.......


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