Procrastination is the route of all evil...

Over the last week I have been procrastinating the shit out of everything! I have a number of things to do:

work on my thesis
plan a wedding
pluck my eyebrows
buy funky stationary (which is essential to number1. study)
paint my toenails
shave my legs
organise my desk
declutter my study
clean my cupboards

Only 2 of these things are essentially fucking important right now, but even the personal hygiene things that I usually do as work avoidance have been given the boot by the soul sucking vortex that is...

Bloody Pinterest! I used to think it was stupid, now I get a million emails showing me even cuter, amazing, MUST-HAVE-THAT pins. I. Am. Fucked.

Tomorrow then. I promise!




Blogging Sabattical

Wow! More than 4 months since my last blog post. I can't tell you how much I have missed blogging! Unfortunately work and life (although work is my life at this stage) have been so demanding, that I haven't had time to even shave my legs, let alone keep a blog on track. My aim is try to become better at multi-tasking...

I have missed the blogosphere, other blogs and all you crazies that actually read the shit I write.

Here's a recap of what has been happening over the last 4 months

- I got engaged. YAY! The Boyf has tossed his old title and has now become

- I am working like a dog
- as a result I still get back pain, hip pain......basically body is still falling apart
- I still hate medical students
- and I still hate tik users

So not much has changed.

Normally not one to put a question out there, but...

Do you think I should continue my blog?

I love blogging, but putting time and effort into it if no one reads my rantings and ravings is pretty futile. So please be so sweet to leave a comment below!




It is not uncommon knowledge that I hate medical students. I despise them like a gardener despises weeds. I literally cannot stand the sight of them.

I do realise that I once was this waste of space that is a medical student, but when you have a lot of shit to do, they really do not provide any reprieve and only seem to create more chaos. They will invariably fuck up whatever you ask them to do!

At the moment I have 3 sixth year medical students working with me, who have meager IQs. Not only are they ridiculously stupid, but they are also extremely lazy, with an astonishing lack of recognising social queues. Let give you an example...

Retard Med Student 1: Wasn't there something you wanted to ask Little Miss Medic? *she says to Retard Med Student 2*

Little Miss Medic: What is it?

Retard Med Student 2: Well, everytime I have sex my vagina hurts afterwards.

*OMFG! I do not have time for this shit! I thought she was going to ask me some dumbass medical question. Fuck it! Now I have to put on my white hat, aka Olivia Pope style*

LMM: Um...well... I'm not sure why that happens...It could maybe be due to a urinary tract infection. Does it happen all the time?

RMS2: I had sex last night *euw* and yip, it happened.

LMM: Well I'm not quite sure what the cause is...Um...Mrs X in ward 6 asked to speak to me, so I must run. Toodles. *fuckers*

Why me? Why do I have to get the retarded ones and the slutty ones?





Going back to work has really hit me hard. I have had a constant headache for 4 days now, I wake up with it, it briefly goes away with double strength painkillers and then settles back in a few hours later. I have always suffered from backache, but now it seems to have tripled in severity. So much so, that I have a weekly appointment with a small Chinese lady, who literally beats the crap out of my back with her elbows, hands, knees.....it's amazing!

I also now have started to get hip pain on my right after more than 12 hours on call. My body is literally falling apart. I feel like a complete bag of moans today and hopefully this negative attitude will have lifted by tomorrow. BUT tomorrow is Monday so probably not!

So let me get all my moans out there for today. I cannot fathom how I still have 2 years to go until I am specialised. Give me strength! I don't think I can possibly do this for another 24 months. It's crazy! It feels like my body will definitely not be able to cope.

OK. I'll stop now...

Tomorrow is another day...blah blah




Demonic Druggie

I completely jinxed myself. Last week I wrote a post about how I was working the Easter weekend and that all I hoped for was that I didn't get a tik patient coming in. I just had to bloody say that! (mistake number 1) Why???????

The night (Easter Monday) hadn't been going so badly until at 4am, when everyone seemed to realise the long weekend was over and they could all rock up to the labour ward en masse. At least a half dozen women arrived at the same time. I quickly got my last coke light and told myself it was only 4 hours to go, how bad could the rest of the call really be? (mistake number 2). A clinic had phoned to refer a lady in labour, who was also high on tik. Same shit different day. But this woman, if I can even call her that, was undoubtedly the worst tik patient I have EVER had, and trust me, I've had a few.

She arrived in a wheelchair, screaming. That's perhaps not enough of a descriptive word. She was grunting/screaming like some monster who had just crawled out of a swamp. Her eyes looked wild and she had a facial palsy, probably due to excessive drug use. We quickly got her onto a bed, where she thrashed around kicking myself and the intern (aka The Skivvy) in the arm and chest respectively. We quickly shouted for reinforcements.

Eventually after there were 5 of us holding her, security obvs nowhere to be found, and saw that the head was crowning. The more we tried to get her to open her legs and push, the more she scrambled against the wall, sporadically kicking a leg out at us. For one moment I actually looked at The Skivvy and we both burst out laughing. It was like something out of a demon movie, The Exorcism, like when Marlena was possessed in Days of our Lives (don't act like you don't remember).

Little Miss Medic: Ok, we need you to push so that we can deliver the baby.

Demonic Druggie: Grrrrraaaaaa, arggggghhhhhhh *spitting*

LMM: Listen Lady, if you don't cooperate with us then we can't help you! (mistake 3- aggravating the animal)

Demonic Druggie swipes out with her left grimy hand, scratching my face.

The Skivvy: Oi! Stop that! You don't do that to the doctor! *bless, I've trained him well*

DD: Rrrrhhhhhhwwaaaabbbbbb. Fooooooookkkkkkk jjjjoooooooouuuuuu!

LMM: Sister, you deliver the baby and we'll each hold a limb down.

As the midwife leans forward and examines to see how high up the baby's head is, Demonic Druggie thrusts her hand into the midwife's crotch.

The Skivvy: Oi! You do NOT try to do a vaginal examination on The Midwife!

Eventually the mini human came out, healthy and crying. She literally fell asleep a minute later, not even bothering to acknowledge her new child.




Paddy the Dancing Granny

I am sure many of you have seen this clip on FB recently.

I am such a sucker for a good YouTube video and often run with my phone to find The Boyf yelling, "you HAVE to watch this! No, I swear this clip is the best one EVER!" and I say that every time.

But....this amazing granny is worth the watch.

Un-fucking-believable right? The dips, the lifts, the gasps from the audience.

I just hope I have legs like that when I'm 79.

Happy Wednesday!




Working Easter

For all of my sins I will be working this long Easter weekend.

I am really not the hugest Easter person, so I don't mind really, just as long as I don't get a tik patient.

They really seem to be coming in droves. I don't know what it? Possibly the fact that it's so damn cheap.
My last tik patient was annoying as all hell...

Little Miss Medic: Miss Tikkie, I know that the pain is severe but when you feel a contraction, I need you to push.

Miss Tikkie: Ek...sob....kan...sob...nie! *ugly cry*

LMM: You can! You just need to listen to me.

MT: You Ma se....

LMM: I am only trying to help you. Swearing won't make me go away.

Contraction starts.

MT: Mommmmmmmmeeeeeee. I......sob...want....sob....my....sob...mmmmoooommmmmeeeee! *ugly cry*

LMM: I can see the head. Almost there. Just one more push.

Miss Tikkie proceeds to put her fingers in her nether regions.

LMM: Don't do that. I just need you to focus on pushing.

She continues to do this and then brings her hands to her face, smearing excrement all over herself in the process.

LMM: I told you not to do that. Now look what you've done.

MT: Fok jou!

LMM: Now listen here lady, do not push me! You have yet to see a white person's inner coloured come out. And believe me it isn't pretty.

Eventually the poor baby came out and was named Renesme. Dear Lord...

Please let there be no Miss Tikkies this weekend!






There are so many amazing things on FB, YouTube and Twitter these days. I find myself spending countless hours scrolling down to just watch ONE more video clip in a half comatose state at 23:33 of a cute kitten or retarded German guy.

But. This has to be the most jaw-dropping amazing clip I have ever seen. Ever.

How she manages to do that so beautifully, one will never know. Imagine waking up one day and thinking, "Ooh. Today I shall paint pictures with sand."

Kseniya Simonova became famous when she won Ukraine's Got Talent in 2009.

Wow! Its up there with Battle at Kruger.

Anyways. Enjoy your Tuesday!





I am completely unashamed to admit that I am COMPLETELY transfixed and obsessed with watching the Oscar Pistorius trial. I know it's sad, it may be sick to some and boring to others. What fascinates me is that real life law is pretty much just how I thought it would be and "being" in the courtroom feels like a privilege. I have always loved The Law and now we get to be at the coalface of one of the century's biggest trials since OJ Simpson.

I think that without a shadow of a doubt one can see that Oscar is slowly or rather quickly digging an even bigger hole for himself. As Gerrie Nel goes through the events of that evening with a fine-toothed comb, even more irregularities become apparent. Why did Reeva lock the bathroom door? Why didn't he check that she was in the bed? Could he see or not? because he clearly knew where the duvet was. Where were those damn fans?

Instead of being diligent and doing my research, I am perched on the couch in my PJs; tea in one hand and remote in the other (to fast forward the really boring parts). I don't want to miss a word, yet another sob from the ever increasingly whiny Oscar, or even a smirk from the prosecution's team. It is the best reality TV I have ever watched.

I know it is morbidly disgusting to be so engrossed in such a tragic event, but it's not the death I am interested in. I am interested in watching justice being served, in seeing someone finally being held accountable for their actions.

I applaud Gerrie Nel and all other prosecutors who go about their everyday job, with a meager paycheck and none of the pizzazz.




P.S: what is that hearing device that his uncle uses? Looks like an alien radio transmitter.


Books of 2014

After reading Lulu's post of her latest reads, I decided to do one of my own. These have been my books of 2014, thus far.

A story about an orphan, a medal, Art, a convent and love. This book really made me want to go back to Spain. ASAP.

The true story of Solomon Northup's life. I really wanted to read this before I watch the nominated Oscar movie. It reads like a diary and although the writing is sometimes simple, I really enjoyed it.

I know this book has been around for a while, but I only read it recently. So far this is my pick for book of 2014. It left me reeling. I was so engrossed in the characters' twisted lives. I think I will definitely read this again one day.

This is a long book. 771 pages. It was on the NY Times 10 Best Books of 2013 List, and I am a sucker for these lists. I had to read it. It has so many stories rolled into one. A love story, and "mafia" type story, a story of friendship......the list goes on. It took me a while to get into it, but I loved it eventually.

What are you reading?




Where the HELL have I been?

I know, I know! I have been terrible at blogging this year. I don't really have an excuse, except that I haven't really had oodles of time to blog. I've even stopped reading other people's blogs *eek*

So a quick recap of what I've been up to...

...been working my behind off

...sleeping as often and as much as I can (due to point 1)

...only just signed up for RubyBox and I freakin' love it!

...still loving Scandal......consider it handled

...am off for the month of April to do my research, hence the renewed blogging.

What have y'all been up to?





Each medical specialty definitely has a stereotype. It's so funny how totally uncanny it can be. By seeing a male jock walk down the theatre passage in butcher boots with a scrub cap sporting skulls, you immediately know he is an orthopod. Physicians are totally anal, paediatricians are too happy and draw smiley faces in their notes and neurosurgeons always have a "I am God" persona.

This comic describes all of us brilliantly.

Michelle Au (right click to open in a new tab)

I especially love The Radiologist.

Have a lovely weekend!




This last week I...

...tried to meditate, but fell asleep....often

...laughed so much at this ridiculous movie

(he got his damn feet wet....shit dawg! I ain't taking that shitty dawg home with me!)

...watched The Wolf of Wall Street. Love LOVE LOVE! I did cringe a bit during some of the sex scenes, but what a fucking good movie. And please if there is a God, make me look like Margot Robbie.

...replanted my fynbos garden thanks to the two mutts

...watched these two alcohol ads

Which one is your fav? They're both good but I love the second one.

Have a great week!




Why Oh Why

What is it with people and being in denial? Why does someone only go to doctor once they have a tumour the size of a small child growing on them? Why do morbidly obese people only seek help once they need a crane to get them out of the house? Why does someone with AIDS only agree to be tested once they are on death's door?

The obvious answer is denial.

de-ni-al    An unconscious defense mechanism characterised by refusal to acknowledge painful realities, thoughts or feelings. -Oxford Dictionary

But still people. Buck. The. Fuck. Up. If it means saving your life, get over it! I know. Easier said than done.

What are you in denial about?

My answer: all the fucking work I have to do!




This last week...

...I have still been on leave and loving it! The Boyf and I stayed on a wonderful fruit farm in a small little cottage with no electricity. It was amazing! I did yoga everyday to this view...

...I have been doing all the NB health check ups; optometrist, dentist, dermatologist. Am getting all my moles checked out. I know 3 people who have gotten melanomas, under the age of 30, and it's flipping scary. Wish me luck!

...I celebrated my birthday. It was wonderful to see all my friends and they all made me feel super special and loved! Thank you to them all.

...I have been sucked into my TV series addiction. This round it's Scandal/The Fixer (how beautiful is Kerry Washington), Devious Maids, Blacklist and Breaking Bad. So much to see, so little time!!!

...yet again another truly disgusting attack on wildlife. I'm sure a lot of you have seen the horrendous pics circulating on FB of the killing of hundreds of Calderon dolphins on the Danish coast of Feroe Island.
It seems to be some sick rite of passage that the teenagers take part in.

It's just too horrendous for words.

On the macabre note, I do hope you have a fabulous week and thanks for taking the time to stop by!




This week I...

...am on LEAVE!!!!!!! Can I get a woo hoo! I have been dying a slow death inside waiting for this day to arrive. This will be my home for the next week.

A cottage on a fruit farm, with NO electricity. Bliss.

...have been completely shocked by these videos for different reasons.

On first watching this video, I chuckled at the Afrikaans commentary and felt that blue volkswagen got exactly what it deserved. Later that day news broke that the elephant had been put down. Apparently it had been aggressive previously, but if you ask me, those retards aggravated it and when you see an elephant flapping its ears back off. The elephant is such a beautiful animal, it is heartbreaking!

This next video is about a pregnant lady's strange fetish with eating something weird....watch it here.

...have continued the #100HappyDays challenge. Read about it here. It really is making me appreciate the smaller things in life.

Have a great weekend!!!




Gluten Free

A few months ago I had the worst abdominal pain ever. I was dying. The Boyf even had to examine me. He isn't a very good doctor when I am the patient and always thinks I am overreacting. I went to writhe alone in pain in the sanctity of the spare room. I eventually had a scope, which was normal. The specialist gave me the pain-can-be-stress-related peptalk. I know that talk. I invented that talk. For patients who have nothing wrong with them.

So I decided to try cutting out different food groups and see if that helped. I decided I would do gluten, then dairy, then wheat. In that order.

I never got past gluten. After eating gluten free for a week, I felt like a new person. I shit you not. I know it sounds crazy, but it really made the world of difference. I used to have a bloated, sluggish, tummy ache for most of each day. It was gone! I used to get a headache nearly everyday and never go anywhere without my mini pharmacy in my handbag. The headaches were gone! I always felt tired. That was gone too.

My life had changed, but unfortunately so did every meal, going to dinner at friends.....and my one true love pizza. Many things contain gluten. Gluten is found in all flours, maizes, most cereals, breads, cakes, ALL Woolies pre made meals :( soya sauce and about a hundred other things. Eating gluten now is totally not worth it. If I do, it feels like an alien is eating away at the inside of my stomach and is about 10 times worse than my initial pain.

I have found various ways to still eat the things I love. Gluten free pizza bases. Colcacchio have them and so do some shops for making your own. Gluten free bread, gluten free flour (at most Pick n Pays in the health/nut section)and quinoa as a substitute for couscous (did I mention no couscous, sad I know).

This is one of my weekly meals now, homemade pizza and it doesn't taste bad at all!

Trust me you should at least try being gluten free for a few days.





There has been a challenge floating around on the internet called 100 Happy Days.

Basically it involves challenging yourself to catalogue 100 days in the form of pictures showing things that make you happy. It's aim is to make you appreciate the little things in life more. Read more about it here.

So far my pics have been very simple things, as I worked yesterday till today, but here they are...

Day 1 - small things

Day 2 - postcall bliss

I constantly feel like I complain a lot and so this is my way to remind myself 
to enjoy the smaller things in life!!! I challenge all of you to take this challenge, even in 2 days I have felt much more aware of things!





WOW!!! I cannot believe we are already one week into the NY. Holy crap!

Work has been crazy, so only a short post for today...

Here's one of the most talked about music videos of 2013, what a shocker!!!

More like terrible porn!

Have a good week.


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