Working Easter

For all of my sins I will be working this long Easter weekend.

I am really not the hugest Easter person, so I don't mind really, just as long as I don't get a tik patient.

They really seem to be coming in droves. I don't know what it? Possibly the fact that it's so damn cheap.
My last tik patient was annoying as all hell...

Little Miss Medic: Miss Tikkie, I know that the pain is severe but when you feel a contraction, I need you to push.

Miss Tikkie: Ek...sob....kan...sob...nie! *ugly cry*

LMM: You can! You just need to listen to me.

MT: You Ma se....

LMM: I am only trying to help you. Swearing won't make me go away.

Contraction starts.

MT: Mommmmmmmmeeeeeee. I......sob...want....sob....my....sob...mmmmoooommmmmeeeee! *ugly cry*

LMM: I can see the head. Almost there. Just one more push.

Miss Tikkie proceeds to put her fingers in her nether regions.

LMM: Don't do that. I just need you to focus on pushing.

She continues to do this and then brings her hands to her face, smearing excrement all over herself in the process.

LMM: I told you not to do that. Now look what you've done.

MT: Fok jou!

LMM: Now listen here lady, do not push me! You have yet to see a white person's inner coloured come out. And believe me it isn't pretty.

Eventually the poor baby came out and was named Renesme. Dear Lord...

Please let there be no Miss Tikkies this weekend!




1 comment:

Shannon Leahy said...

Ah man this is absolutely hilarious! I love these kinds of posts - definitely put a smile on my face.

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