Some people are simple. Some people are ugly. And some people are just plain fucking stupid!
Enter simple, ugly, stupid fucker. His wife has just had a baby. their first child. As the small family sit together, I am on the other side of the curtain with another patient and this is what I hear.
Simple-Ugly-Stupid-Fucker: No man, why doesn't he wanna drink yo milk?
Proud Mother: I don't know, maybe he's still tired from the delivery.
SUSF: *in baby voice* drink my boy, it's yummy milk. I promise!
Proud Mother: Just let him be!
SUSF: No man, he must drink. I'll show him.
*Enter lip smacking noises followed by SUSF running to sink to retch*
SUSF: Sies man! That is disgusting!
My patient: *turns to me and whispers* Did that man just drink his wife's breast milk?
LMM: *whispers back* I think so.
*We both have to suppress the urge to wet ourselves whilst giggling silently*