Past Medical History. We always ask what medical conditions patients have, because they are often retarded and do not volunteer this information.

Little Miss Medic: So Mr Dumbass, do you have any medical conditions?

Mr Dumbass: Nope. I'm healthy.

LMM: Are you on any chronic medication?

MD: Pharmapress, Aspirin, Metformin, Insulin, Zocor and I forget the name of the other white pill. Do you know which one I mean?

LMM: So you have Hypertension, Diabetes and high cholesterol. Those are all medical conditions Mr Dumbass! And no, there are about a million little white pills, I don't know which one you take.

LMM: Have you had any surgeries Mr Dumbass?

MD: No.

LMM: Can you please move over to the examination bed.

*at this point I notice a LARGE surgical scar over his chest*

LMM: Mr Dumbass, how did you get that scar?

MD: Oh yes, I had a triple bypass last year.

LMM: Again, that is a past surgery. So when I ask if you have had any surgeries, a major cardiac one would be a good reply in this instance!




1 comment:

A Daft Scots Lass said...

Was that a skiing accident scar, Mr Dumbass?

Don't you wish you could say that out loud to a patient?

I'll bet you wish that every fekkin day

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