Mondays seem to be the bane of my life! It was the gynae clinic again today, and after last week, I didn't think I had the strength to get through it.
Little Miss Medic: Hello Mrs Nincompoop. How can I help you today?
Mrs Nincompoop: I have a problem with my lady bits.
LMM: Well, this is the gynae clinic, so you've come to the right place. What seems to be the problem?
MN: I have sewerage.
LMM: I don't understand. Sewerage?
MN: Yes, sewerage. Its coming out my koek.
LMM: You have a vaginal discharge?
NM: Yes, like I said, sewerage.
LMM: OK. What colour is it?
NM: The colour of sewerage
*Crisis! We were getting nowhere!*
LMM: Can you go and lie on the bed so that I can examine you? Please remove your skirt and panties.
*After a good ten minutes, I draw back the curtain and find Mrs Nincompoop still in her underwear. This is a common finding, strangely enough*
LMM: Mrs Nincompoop, I need you to take off your panties.
LMM: So that I can examine you and take a swab of the discharge.
NM: Are you going to put the swab inside MY vagina?
LMM: Well I am certainly not going to put it in mine!