I am boycotting the day as The Boyf is still in the land of sun :(
"No woman will ever be truly satisfied on this day because no man has a chocolate penis wrapped in money that ejaculates diamonds!"
Onto more interesting things........................ I have committed myself to a 10-day Bikram Yoga Challenge.
1. I have never done Bikram Yoga before (yoga in a room heated to 40'C)
2. I have never done Yoga before
3. I am going to die.
DAY 1:
I arrived at the studio in Soho, armed with copious amounts of water. We took our shoes off at the entrance and then had to do a "hop, skip and jump" to avoid all the sweat puddles on the way to the changeroom.
The changeroom was small (read miniscule). Everybody was NAKED in there too! This was all a bit too much for me. I tried to squeeze through the masses of unclad bodies to a locker to put away my bag. I had come prepared, to avoid the nakedness and was already in my yoga gear.
As I opened the door to the studio room, I was hit with the stench of fresh sweat from the previous class. I shoved my towel in front of my nose, grabbed a mat and found a spot.
The class hadn't begun yet and I suddenly realised I had lost one of my pearl earrings. "It could be in the changeroom." I thought as I made my way back and attempted to look around on the floor. All I could see were boobs, pubic hair and lily-white bottoms. The earring was SO not worth it!
Back in the class, we were getting ready to start. I was so nervous and kept eyeing everyone to see what they were doing.
The class started and I fumbled my way through the first few poses. I don't usually sweat much at all, but I sweating like a fat pig going through menopause. It was ridiculous, yet felt quite detoxifying.
After 20 minutes I was dying. I felt dizzy and didn't care about standing on one leg with the other twisted around it and my hands is a weird distorted shape. I still had 70 minutes to go! I couldn't last that long. I wanted to leave!
I sat down for a few minutes, but the heat became worse when still. So I got up and tried one more pose. Before I knew it the class was over! I had made it! I had survived!
Now I had to face showering..........
The showers were 2 rows of three spouts in an open space. No walls. No doors. No shower curtains. I would have to shower/wash in front of everyone! Give me strength!
I shed my clothes as quickly as I could and leaped into the shower "room". I faced the wall so I wouldn't have to look at anyone. After 5 minutes of staring at the wall, my front was clean, my back was sweaty. I didn't care!
Now for step 2.....getting dry and dressed. I managed to get changed with my towel around me the whole time, in a mummy-type-fashion. How pathetic am I? Why can I not just be OK with dressing in front of people? We all had the same bits? Some people were taking it a bit far though, lathering cream all over or prancing around in their thongs in front of the mirrors.
Mission accomplished. I had done my very first yoga class and changed without being naked :)
I was tired and made the long trek home with my tomato face!
Tomorrow Day 2!
LMM
xoxo
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