LMM gets boozed


Last night I went out for dinner to celebrate a friend's 30th birthday. It was a casual dinner with a few glasses of red wine, but I had forgotten what a lightweight I had become in the last year. I don't drink often anymore and if I do, it is usually only a glass or two of wine or a G&T.

Thinking back on the evening, I don't recall behaving badly, though if I think really hard, I may have been a tad loud and interrupted a few conversations. I arrived home from the evening to find The Boyf happily engrossed in the cricket. I decided to shower and go to bed as I had an early start the next day. Our shower is of the shower-over-bath variety and has a fold up glass partition that opens up to prevent drenching the entire floor. I couldn't for the life of me get it to open up. I pulled and yanked but it would not open. I shrieked for the Boyf to help me, but he refused saying I was drunk and should just go to sleep. I continued huffing and puffing whilst trying to figure out what was wrong with the damn door. Evetually I grabbed it from the other side and it miracously opened. It might have not been stuck and I may have been grabbing it from the wrong side the whole time. I eventually climbed into bed, clean and tired, but had completely forgotten the obligatory glass of water and painkillers before bed, this ritual had saved me on many occasions.

I woke up at 6am with a dry mouth that tasted like urinated on cotton wool and a slight pounding in my temples, which would only get worse as the day progressed. I went to the kitchen and immediately downed a can of coke light for breakfast. Next I had to make myself presentable for work. After examining myself in the mirror I could see the telltale signs that I had indeed been inebriated. Mascara was congealed in the corners of my eyes, something I always religiously remove before bed. My lower lip was stained purple as were my teeth. GREAT! I know from experience that no matter how hard you try and rub your lips, that won't come off for the next 24 hours. I would have to proceed through the day with a violet, round blob on my lip! I tried to brush my lip with my electric toothbrush with no success. I now had a red/purple painful lip.

Eventually, ready to go, I left home for the tube station. There was only one thing that would get me through the day and that was Gaga.......

"He ate my heart, he ate my heart. He ate my heart and then he ate my brain......."

That is exactly how I feel right now......



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