I have been MIA the last few days at work. It feels like everything has been work related :(
In the early hours of Monday morning, a woman came into the hospital in labour. She was promptly examined and then put on the CTG (cardiotocography) machine, which measures the baby's heart rate. The CTG looked terrible! It was a pre-terminal trace, which means that the baby is about to die and is in severe fetal distress. I phoned the anaethetist and paediatrician, and we had the patient in theatre, ready for a caesar, in under 5 minutes.
As I was scrubbing for the operation, I asked the scrub sister to start scrubbing too. She looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language and walked away. She needed to open the instrument pack and get everything ready so we could start. I was gowned and gloved up, and STILL waiting for her.
Little Miss Medic: Sister X, can we please get started? This is a fetal distress!
Sister X: ...............
LMM: Please can you bring in the trays so we can start!
Sr X: I neeed to count the instruments first Doctor.
LMM: By the time you count everything, the baby will be dead!
Sr X: .........................
LMM: Scalpel please?
Sr X: I am still counting...
I was literally standing over the patient, listening to the seconds tick by as this baby was being deprived of oxygen. I eventually ran and grabbed the scalpel from the setting room and started incising the abdomen. Unfortunately I had to cut through all the layers, straight down to the uterus. I had the baby out in seconds and luckily it gave a gusty first cry! I clamped my hand around the cord, waiting for Sister Retard to appear out of her instrument cave.
I had to spend the last hour of my horrific call, filing a complaint against her.