japanese human tetris

Just a short post for today. Found this clip about 3 years and absolutely LOVED it! Enjoy.

xoxo

Cocaine and a minor

So a few people have read my list of Things I've Done and asked how did I manage to give a kid cocaine. For those of you who haven't yet heard the story, you might be shocked and horrified, but as nothing bad happened, it actually turned out to be pretty funny afterwards.(This is quite a long post, so be patient.)

SCENE: Busy casualty at 20:00pm on a Saturday
Enter Mom with 6 year old boy, who cut his chin after falling off a swing-thing at the Spur.

Examination revealed a 2cm laceration on his chin ie. really small cut, but needs stitches.
I set about getting everything ready and asked the sister to get me some medication to sedate him slightly as kids tend to freak out when you give them stitches.
Now, this is how I actually caused the problem. I often help the nurses when its busy, or they are lazy, by doing their jobs. Stupid, I know, but I like to get things done quickly and sometimes its just easier to do it yourself.

I see a syringe by the bedside, assume it's the sedation, and pop the liquid into his mouth (RETARD move 1)
I insert the stitches and send them off home, asking them to come back in two days, for a wound check.
Sister is meanwhile searching for something, muttering "where is my LAC?" I have no idea what LAC is and ignore her. (RETARD move 2)


About 2 hours of utter chaos pass by, with me seeing patients at a rapid rate, when I get a phone call from the little boy's mom.

"I don't know what you gave John (not his real name), but he hasn't shut up and won't go to sleep. He's driving me nuts. What should I do?"

"Bring him in and I'll have a look at him," I answer while going "shit, shit, SHIT!" in my head.

I suddenly put two and two together and find the sister.

"What is LAC, and did you find yours?"

"It's lignocaine, and no I can't find the syringe."

OK, firstly lignocaine is a local anaesthetic which in private, they put onto the wound to numb it, instead of having to inject the child.
Secondly, it shouldn't be given orally, but such a small dose, shouldn't cause major problems.

BREATHE.......so this isn't too bad.

Mom brings the child back. I explain what happened, admitting my retard moves. I then look at John.
He is wriggling, non-stop. Hyperventilating. And rambling at a rapid pace.

"Mom, mom...I have to tell you a secret. Its about my chin. Blood is going to explode out of it, if I don't whisper....Mom, mom...I have to tell you a secret..."

(imagine this on repeat)

"It's almost as if he's on a high", I thought to myself. "Strange!"

He seemed to be fine, beside the constant chatting about blood and his chin. I give him some real sedation, which doesn't end up working and they end up going home after about an hour. (Retard move 3)

Two days later, I get an email from the head of the unit, asking me to write an incident report on what happened with John Green on the night I saw him. I write a report of exactly what happened. I get a reply immediately.

"Firstly, LAC is not lignocaine only, but Lignocaine-Adrenaline and Cocaine.."

OH HOLY SHIT!

"...The mother did want to sue, but I have convinced her not to, and told her it was an honest mistake. Secondly, you should have admitted the child for observation given the extreme nature of the medicine he was given."

"OMG I'm going to get fired," I think to myself.

If you screw up in the Government sector, nothing will happen to you. You could kill a patient, a no one will bat an eyelid. This is private, where fortunately, there are consequences for your actions.

Nothing ended up happening to me and I definitely learnt a lesson. I now have a brilliant story for dinner's with friends.


xoxo



So I'm starting a new thing, with having tips on Tuesdays. If you have any suggestions of stuff, let me know!
I thought I'd start with a tip that many of you have heard before, but that few actually do, myself included.

The Va-Ja-Jay Exercise:

Step 1 - when you are sitting on the loo having a tinkle, remember this tip!
Step 2 - mid-tinkle, stop tinkling (if this makes sense)
Step 3 - hold count for 5 seconds
Step 4 - resume tinkling
AND THAT'S IT!

This will ensure that when you are 40, have had 3 children and are marginally overweight, your beloved vajajay will not be dragging on the pavement behind you. No-one wants to walk around with their bladder, rectum or precious vajajay hanging out for the world to see. This also prevents incontinence. So, next time you hear a funny story and have a giggle, you won't wet your pants. Or when you sneeze, urine won't be dribbling out behind you.

Do it!

xoxo



The Big Move - Part 2

I was woken up by bright, fluorescent lights, a trolley hitting my elbow and a perfectly assembled woman asking if I wanted a hot breakfast or a continental one. At 3.30 am I can hardly stomach the smell of food, let alone eat it. Why do they always wake you up to feed you 3 hours before you land? Do the airline gremlins meet in secret and discuss when would be the worst time to shine the intense, luminous glow directly into your retina.

“Exactly as they start to nod off,” grunts the one with the hairy wart on her chin.

“No, no…3.55 hours before we land, so that they can’t fall asleep again,” adds the smelly one.


So, I was woken up when the gremlin people had determined, after my 5 second nap, which strangely had left me with a crick in my neck. We landed in Doha….do where? you might ask…anyway. It was a smouldering 33 degrees and there I was in my winter knee high boots, coat, scarf, 3 layers of tops and my precious 3 items of hand luggage. The perspiration was literally streaming off my face and down my back….charming at 6.00am! We had exactly 25 minutes to get off this plane, into the terminal and onto our connecting flight, no time to freshen up or stretch my legs properly.

At the security scanners in the terminal, millions of Arab people in turbans queued on one side and everyone else was in another queue. I couldn’t quite fathom why, but filed in behind the “everyone else” line as I thought I might be too conspicuous in the other, sans turban.

We eventually made it onto our flight with milli-seconds to spare and mentally prepared ourselves for Leg 2 of the trip, which was only 7 hours long.

I finally arrived at Heathrow airport and on the drive out of London, was welcomed with words such as round-about and traffic light, instead of circle and robot.

Welcome to my new home!

xoxo