Started Early, Took My Dog

I have just finished reading this book, my first delve into Kate Atkinson.

The story follows 3 people's lives. Tracy Waterhouse, retired policewoman, Jackson Brodie, private detective and Tilly, elderly demented actress. The chapters swiftly change from present day to 1975, where an event happened that has shaped the future and left many unanswered questions. The 3 characters are unknowingly all linked and there paths are bound, by fate, to cross.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book, although the storyline and style were quite different to my normal reads.

My assessment:  7/10 


LMM

xoxo

Little girls will be naughty sometimes...

Yesterday I met a little girl, who was 3. Her name was Sophie and she had a bead up her nose. Her parents didn't know how long it had been there for but had noticed that she kept rubbing her nose.

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After shining a light up her left nostril, I spotted a large green, plastic bead.

I explained to Sophie that she had to hold very still so I could remove the foreign body. Mom even had a chocolate for afterwards as a bribe.

Sophie looked like such a good girl, until I approached her armed with my penlight and mini forceps. She started to shake her head and screamed "I don't want to!".
Eventually we had her pinned down by Mom, Dad and a nurse. After a few attempts at grabbing the damn thing and her squirming, I finally prised the snot-covered bead from her nose.

The bead was HUGE! I showed it to them and gave it back to Sophie. She promptly shoved it up her right nostril!

FUCK!

I have now learnt my lesson and will never give them back the foreign body that they shoved up one orifice or another!


LMM

xoxo



P.S: don't forget the giveaway closes on Thursday.....2 days left!!!

Another giveaway

Hello all my lovelies,

I have decided to give you all the chance to win this lovely scarf. I have one myself and absolutely love the print and the fact that it's so wide.

All you have to do to enter is, become a follower and leave me a message in the comments section. The giveaway ends on Thursday and the winner will be announced on Friday.

Good Luck!


LMM

xoxo

Confessions of a GP

For the last week this has been the book that I have kep in my handbag and read on the tube. It has chapters that are only 3 pages long and each chapter tells an amusing story about a different patient or experience.

The book is written by a GP, who also does a few A+E shifts. It is light-hearted and delightfully funny. I found the stories highly entertaining as I have often had similar patients and can totally relate, some of these include; a flirtatious transvestite, a woman who is plagued by pornographic dreams about Tom Jones and many more. This book is a lovely, quick read and can give one better insight into the going-ons of the NHS in England.


Have a good weekend!


LMM

xoxo

Pray

I have just gotten home from a night shift. I hate night shifts. They leave you feeling dazed, nauseous and like you just travelled to Hong Kong and back. A night shift isn't the same without some crazy patients to keep you going...

In the early hours of this morning I saw Mr Green in the A+E. He had a cellulitis of his left leg, basically a swollen, red, infected leg. It would only get better with antibiotics injected into his vein, rather than the oral kind. I don't know if Mr Green was drunk or just strange, but he was some kinda crazy...


LMM: OK Mr Green I need to put a drip in your hand so we can give you the antibiotics.

Mr Green: No problem, I just want my leg sorted out.

LMM: Now just hold your hand still....you'll feel a small prick and then it will all.....no Mr Green, hold still.

Mr Green: Jesus Christ, that was like an electric current going through my hand.

By now he has yanked his hand away and the cannula that was neatly inserted in his vein has now been YANKED out.

LMM: Mr Green, we are going to have to try that again, because you moved. Just try hold still this time.

Mr Green: OK, I promise I won't move.

LMM: Mr Green I said HOLD STILL PLEASE!!!!...............Now we have to start all over again.

Mr Green: I'm sorry but that is the worst pain that I have even felt in my life. Giving birth wouldn't be as painful!

LMM: Last try now otherwise you'll just have to go home and your leg will turn gangrenous and fall off (I love embellishing to patients)

Mr Green: Dear God please help this doctor in putting this needle in my hand. Please guide her in her ability to not hurt me and get it right.


Now I have heard it all! How about this rather....

Mr Green: Dear God, please help me to hold still for this amazing doctor, who is so tired. Help me to stop being a wimp and help me to see that this minor pain can in no way be compared to pushing a human through your va-jay-jay!



LMM

xoxo

Disaster Mayhem Dispair

The lack of posting these last few days can only be attributed to the complete disaster evening I had last Friday.


I lost my blackberry phone...



I never knew how much I depended on it...



I was drunk...



again...



I have no idea where I lost it :(



I have felt lost and out of touch with the world...



So today I am off to purchase myself a new phone...



Woo Hoo!



LMM

xoxo

Latest Purchases

On my last trip to Germany to visit the Fam-Dam, I spoilt myself a bit at the Duty Free section. I have been wanting this perfume for ages and couldn't resist.

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It smells delicious!!!!!!!!

My next purchases were inspired by having the day off and watching The Hills, a reality show about rich 20-somethings living in LA. My favourite has always been Lauren Conrad, who always has the most incredible make-up. So I bought these 2 items....

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Now I NEVER use liquid eyeliner so my first attempt was hideous and I was in desperate need of some coaching. So who better than Lauren Conrad to help me!

She is part of a blog called The Beauty Department, which is A-MA-ZING!


Do you have any make-up tips to share? Or any new purchases?


LMM

xoxo

Presenting Complaint

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A presenting complaint is when the patient tells you in their own words what is wrong with them. These can sometimes be highly amusing and are often very far from the real diagnosis.

• 23 year old female who thinks she has cancer. She has had a sore throat for 2 days and GOOGLEd possible causes. Cancer was on of them.
• 60 year old male who can come into the A+E up to 3 times a day. He is an alcoholic and enjoys his frequent daily visits. He is here because he can't find a girlfriend.
• 3 year old boy who stuck a marble up his bum because it was a good hiding place.
• 28 year old female who went for a pedicure and now wants to see if she contracted any diseases whilst having her toenails done.
• 72 year old female who lives alone and comes in on a regular basis. She just wants to chat and have a bit of company.
• Mother with a 7 year old girl, who has tummy ache each morning. After probing questions, it transpires that she is being bullied at school.
• 64 year old homeless man with emphysema. He comes in each night for a nebulisation, cup of tea and a sandwich.

Patients are strange creatures!


LMM

xoxo

Skeeter - The Narcoleptic Dog

This is how I feel today :(


LMM

xoxo

When God was a Rabbit

"This is a story about a brother and a sister.

It's a book about childhood and growing up, friendships and families, triumph and tragedy and everything in between.

More than anything, it's a book about love in all its forms."


Sarah Winman's debut novel was my latest monthly bookclub read. The protagonist is Elly and the story spans four decades of her life shared out between Essex, Cornwall and NYC. It is divided into two parts, her childhood and twenty years later as an adult. Colourful characters enhance her daily life: her eccentric family, an aged neighbour, Jenny Penny, who smells of chips and has crazy hair, a Shirley Bassey impersonator and of course the rabbit called God.

Throughout the dark encounters, trials of friendship and different forms of love, her one constant, is her brother, Joe. He has experienced every moment of ectasy and every day of sorrow with her, keeping her untold secret and understanding why she is the way she is.

This isn't a book I would normally choose to read, but I am thrilled that I had the chance to delve into the story that is Elly. I was slightly disappointed with the number of unexplained things, but I suppose those were there for the reader to decide for themselves. All in all a good read and something slightly different.



LMM

xoxo

What I wanna be when I grow up...

When I go back to SA next year my dream is to start specialising in Obstetrics and Gynaecology, or as my friends call it......va-ja-jay doctor.

Now, there are many questions that us females have when faced with all things va-ja-jay.....

Like, should you groom prior to seeing your Gynae?

Is mine ugly?

Is it weird to go to a male Gynae?

etc.........

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First things first. Your gynae has seem many different va-ja-jays in their career and whether you shave, wax or trim beforehand, doesn't make much of a difference to them. A male gynae hopefully has a wife at home and is not in the least bit interested in you as you lie in the stirrups, so be as professional as they are and don't let it bother you. All va-ja-jays look different and YES, some are ugly, but the ugliest thing is definitely a diseased va-ja-jay. So girls, look after your flower and make sure you don't have an STDs, UTIs or other nasties.

To keep your va-ja-jay trim and healthy click here and here for some extra tips.


Any more questions?


LMM

xoxo

Resolutions

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At the beginning of this year I decided not to make any resolutions. I never stick to any of them, especially the ones involving food and exercise. BUT I have realised that subconsiously I still have made some and am intending to try and fulfill most of them. I keep thinking I still have 6 months, but it is August and I need to get cracking!!!!! These are some of them:

1. Read 52 books - am on 22 so far so not doing too badly but still 30 to go in 21 weeks EISH!

2. Travel to Spain - check :)

3. Write a short story - this I am determined to do!

4. See The Northern Lights - hopefully my cash flow will allow this

5. Do hip hop dance classes - have already found out where to go, just have to get my arse there.

6. Buy a Canon 550D

7. Eat more salads

8. Sail around Croatia - booked for September whoop whoop!

9. Watch more plays/ballets/shows - easy to do in London.

10. Have 100 blog followers - that is where you come in! Ambitious but hopefully at least 50.


What are your resolutions and how are you doing?


LMM

xoxo

Allan Gray ad

The lovely and talented Nick Paige has been working on a new TV ad for Allan Gray. Click here to check it out first........so heart-warming!

Well done on a brilliant ad campaign!

LMM

xoxo

Dukan Fail

I have been avoiding writing this post, because to write it means I am admitting defeat.

Dukan Diet = epic fail

I really did try and I do have excuses, even though they are still just excuses.

My excuses:

1. it is very difficult to eat protein only or even protein and vegetables when in Belgium in the middle of nowhere at a rock festival where they only sell beer, sausages and glorious frites smothered in mayonnaise.

2. it is very difficult to eat protein only or even protein and vegetables when in Spain on la Rambla or in Mallorca when you are faced with a menu of wonderful paellas (which I ate everyday for 10 days straight)

3. it is very difficult to eat protein only or even protein and vegetables when you just don't feel like it because if you eat one more slice of turkey breast or one more flippin hard boiled egg.....you might just chunder 2 weeks worth of protein that dumbass Mr Dukan has suggested you eat.

I know....I've gotten to the anger stage. Now I am just in the I-will-eat-whatever-I-please-Mr-Dookey-Dookan.....childish I know!




LMM

xoxo