Dukan Diet Day 4 and Patient X

Today The ATTACK PHASE is over....whoop whoop!
This means that I get to add vegetables.........not potatoes though :(

Phase 2 - Cruise Phase

This is where you are supposed to continue losing weight at a steady pace. My cruise phase is going to last 28 days (depends on how much weight you have to lose). In this phase you alternate between protein only days and protein + veg days. I have chosen to do a ratio on 1:1, alternating the days as 5:5 would kill me.

So far I have lost 2 kgs and am excited to see how the next phase goes. This means that no carbs will touch my lips for 31 days...................ok, except my little sushi cheat.

Enough about the diet........



The other day I had a sixty-something year old man come to see me. He wanted STD testing....surprise, surprise! I waited for him to begin his ramble of how he did something stupid and it only happened once and he has been ridden with guilt......blah BLAH BLAH!

But he didn't..........

Patient X: I travelled to Hong Kong recently and at my hotel I went for a massage.

LMM: Yes.... (massage seems to be the euphimistic term for getting it on)

Patient X: I had only booked a back massage and suddenly during the massage, the woman licked her fingers and inserted them into my anus.

LMM:.......gasp......(jaw drops to floor)

Patient X: I was so shocked at the time and immediately left. I have been worrying about it constantly since then and if they do this kind of thing, they must surely do other things. This led me to think that I might have contracted an STD.

LMM: The risk is low, but it definitely is a possibility. I would suggest testing.

Patient X: Is this a common practice? Am I so out of the loop that I misunderstood what a massage means?

LMM: No, not at all. But some of these institutions cater for other things as well and being Asia, they obviously assumed a man having a massage on his own, would want that.

Patient X: Well I felt violated and was horrifed!

LMM: I understand.................................

5 minutes later he was on his way, anus swabbed, and feeling better. His results came back clear and he would definitey think twice about getting a massage in the future.

Shame...poor guy..........


LMM


xoxo

Shrinky Winky

What happens if you have a patient who complains of STD symptoms and when you begin to examine him you can't find his.......................





Wot-wot




toot





shrinky winky





It happens.................




Especially when said patient is well over sixty with grey short and curlies, but yet still gets it on when he has an "oriental massage"...........stranger things have happened :)




LMM

xoxo