I realised that I am NEVER going to stop being surprised at how stupid some people are.
Little Miss Medic: So what was the reson for your previous caesarean section?
Miss Pregnant: I was pregnant.
LMM: Yes, I gathered that. But why did you have a caesar?
MP: I was giving birth.
LMM: But WHY did you have the operation? They don't just do caesars on everyone. Was there something wrong with the baby? Were you in labour too long? Anything?
MP: Oh. I think the baby made a poop inside of me.
I haven't seen a retarded patient for a while now. And by retarded, I don't mean mentally challenged, I mean buttfuck stupid!
Little Miss Medic: Hello, Retarded Pregnant Lady, how are you today?
Retarded Pregnant Lady: I am fine thank you.
LMM: So now that you are 36 weeks pregnant, it is routine to do a vaginal swab.
RPL: A what?
LMM: A high vaginal swab, to check for any infections that may be problematic during delivery. So I just need to take a quick swab and then we're done.
Please do not use Tik whilst you are pregnant and especially not before you come to hospital, in labour. It makes my life very difficult when I have to try and urge you to push out your poor, helpless baby, whilst you shriek and perform like a crazy banshee. Please also admit to using Tik straight off the bat. I can spot you a mile away and even though you deny it, you just have that "tikked" up look about you. It would help if you told us when you last used and how often you did. Please do not curse or spit at me, bite or hit me and definitely do not throw faeces at me.
There is nothing worse than seeing someone who has been physically assaulted, unless they have been assaulted and they are pregnant. Today I met a patient who is 17, hasn't finished school and is pregnant. She had been abused by her boyfriend, who punched her in the face, leaving her with a blue eye. He had also kicked her in the stomach and now her 30 week fetus was suffering the consequences. We had to admit her as the baby was not getting enough blood through the umbilical cord. She doesn't want to press charges.
A few weeks ago someone close to me was assaulted by her husband. I cannot imagine the absolute horror to have the person you love and share your life with do this to you. Physical violence is not something I think I will ever be able to wrap my head around.
I am having a bleh week, actually make that a bleh month. Nothing in particular....not enjoying my job...waiting to hear if I got the new job in Cape Town...not exercising, eating badly, have gained a few extra kilos...feeling unmotivated...
...basically just BLEH!
But the cherry on top had to be a few days ago. I was on the tube going to my Bookclub. I was reading my book. I was listening to my iPod. I was basically minding my own business.
Little Miss Medic: (doo-doo-doo....minding my business)
Random Lady: Excuse me (taps me on the arm)
LMM: (doo-doo-doo)...ooh.... (take earphones out)
RL: Excuse me, would you like to sit down?
LMM: No thank you, I am fine standing.
RL: You aren't pregnant are you? (makes universal big-belly-pregnant sign)
LMM: No, I am not.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Great way for life to kick you, whilst you're already down!
So I need a bit of inspiration to get through the rest of the week...
One of my birthday wishes last week was to watch the much talked about movie, Black Swan.
I was absolutely blown away by this movie and it was one of the BEST movies I have ever watched. The cast is star-studded, the costumes are beautiful and the dancing..........to die for! I swear that this movie will have a huge effect/backlash on the "uncultured" public, who will reconsider going to the ballet to watch a Swan Lake production, so kudos to the producers of Black Swan for having a positive effect on the Arts.
I am looking forward to seeing it again, so I can fully appreciate the intricacy of the details, the portrayal of the black vs white characters and the final transformation into the Black Swan.
If you haven't watched it yet.....watch this trailer
This movie has something for everyone.....the most exquisite ballet, thrilling moments that make you hide behind your hands in fear, a tiny lesbian moment for the guys and a lot of crotch touching (which I did not enjoy).
Be warned, Natalie Portman's body is a bit scary at times. She is literally just made of muscle and sinew. Apparently she trained for 18 months to get the dancing perfect, and does it all herself (I have heard talk of CGI use, but I am not going to believe it!). I know nothing about ballet, but OMG she is brilliant! And besides learning some kick ass moves and raking up the awards, she has shacked up with the dance choreographer and is expecting his baby, so all in all not a bad run for little Nat.
I heart Mila Kunis. I think she is stunning and I love her cheeky, relaxed character in this film. She might just make it onto my girl crush list.
I am slowly making my way through the list of Oscar movies, so come the big night, I can sit on couch and give my own two cents worth!
VOTE: Natalie for Best Actress......haven't watched any of the other movies, but my money is on her!
