Patient Crush

People always ask me if I've ever thought a patient is hot, and would I date one. Listen people........this is not Grey's Anatomy. We don't marry patients, ala-Izzy-Stevens-style, and patients usually see you for a problem, which means they are either bleeding, smelly, old or dying. So....to answer the question ...NO!

Until one day.......when I had my first patient crush.

Patient HOT! arrived for a consultation, complaining of small lumps on his torso. Sounds simple enough until......


LMM: Hello I am LMM. How can I help you?

Patient HOT!: Hi, I have this problem with these small lumps that have been developing on my chest.

LMM: OK, let's have a look. Please come over to the examination bed.

Patient HOT!: Sorry if I am a bit sweaty, I ran over here as I was a bit late.

LMM: (giggles)....No problem

(INSERT: Patient HOT! is well, HOT. He is in his late twenties, rides a motorbike - he had a helmet with him- and has the body of a Greek Adonis)

LMM: Do you mind removing your shirt so I can examine you?

(He strips off his shirt to reveal washboard abs and ripped biceps)

Patient HOT!: The lumps are here.........

(He takes my hand and pushes them onto his 8-pack. I can hardly feel anything. I am dizzy. I am now the one sweating)

LMM: Um......Ok......right......

Patient HOT!: Are you OK?

LMM: Yes....um........they seem to be normal lipomas. Small deposits of fat which are completely normal, but you can have them removed if you want.

Patient HOT!: I think I would like to have them removed as they don't look great for my sport.

LMM: And what sport is that?

Patient HOT!: I do Muay Thai competitively and I've noticed that these lumps keep getting bigger.

(He fights. He would fight for me....and protect me....SWOON!)

LMM: Why of course. I can see how it would affect your performance. I can refer you to a surgeon.

Patient HOT!: Great, thank you so much

LMM: Here is your referral. Thank you and good luck.

Patient HOT!: Thanks, Bye

(He leaves the office.)

LMM: Call me!


I spent the rest of the day in a woozy delight. I had a smile on my face and went home that evening and excitedly told The Boyf all about my very first patient crush.

So, YES it does happen. But not often!




LMM

xoxo