Awkward...

It is not uncommon knowledge that I hate medical students. I despise them like a gardener despises weeds. I literally cannot stand the sight of them.

I do realise that I once was this waste of space that is a medical student, but when you have a lot of shit to do, they really do not provide any reprieve and only seem to create more chaos. They will invariably fuck up whatever you ask them to do!

At the moment I have 3 sixth year medical students working with me, who have meager IQs. Not only are they ridiculously stupid, but they are also extremely lazy, with an astonishing lack of recognising social queues. Let give you an example...

Retard Med Student 1: Wasn't there something you wanted to ask Little Miss Medic? *she says to Retard Med Student 2*

Little Miss Medic: What is it?

Retard Med Student 2: Well, everytime I have sex my vagina hurts afterwards.

*OMFG! I do not have time for this shit! I thought she was going to ask me some dumbass medical question. Fuck it! Now I have to put on my white hat, aka Olivia Pope style*

LMM: Um...well... I'm not sure why that happens...It could maybe be due to a urinary tract infection. Does it happen all the time?

RMS2: I had sex last night *euw* and yip, it happened.

LMM: Well I'm not quite sure what the cause is...Um...Mrs X in ward 6 asked to speak to me, so I must run. Toodles. *fuckers*


Why me? Why do I have to get the retarded ones and the slutty ones?

LMM

xoxo

I love/hate students!

Every 4 weeks we get new students. At times they can be incredibly annoying or slightly helpful, but no one really loves having students around.

The 4th year ones are there to catch their required 10 babies. They know nothing. They have not seen many vaginas. Especially the ones with babies head's coming out of them. They scare easily and they have never worked a night shift before. Invariably you will find them either asleep in a corner or fainting from sheer horror at seeing blood, placenta, shit and baby parts, in no particular order.

The 6th years know nearly nothing. This is the year when they practice being interns, which is what they will be next year. They have seen a few vaginas. They have never worked a night shift since 4th year. Their job is to help the intern and assist you whilst you do the casear (ie they hold shit for you during the operation). They will either be found asleep in the corner or asleep in your bed, which is fucking annoying when you are actually lucky enough to get to go and sleep.

At the end of their 4 weeks we have a meeting, where we discuss how retarded they are, whilst eating cake and drinking tea. It is the highlight of the month! No one holds back, from consultants to interns. We slate their personalities and shred the essence of their very existence. Then we give them a mark. If they are SUPER shit, we never fail them. That would mean that they would have to come back for another 4 weeks and that would be even worse than passing a shit student.

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LMM

xoxo