The Clinic

Anyone who works in a Government hospital, hates going to the "clinic". The clinic is the place where you see outpatients and there are usually about a million of them, who have been queued up since 6 am to see you. Each discipline has a clinic and we all feel the same why about the clinic.

This week I have been in the clinic.

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Little Miss Medic: Hello. I'm Little Miss Medic. How are you today?

Pregnant Mommy 1: Fine thank you.

LMM: *looks at file* So you aren't sure how pregnant you are. We will need to do a scan to see how far you are.

PM1:  Will you be able to tell me the colour of the baby's eyes?

LMM: Um...No.

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LMM: So when was your last period?

Pregnant Mommy 2: I don't know.

LMM: OK. Let's feel your tummy then.... You must be very early. Your tummy is very flat still......OK let's do a scan to see how far you are.

*Ultrasound room*

LMM: *stares blankly at screen*

LMM: You aren't pregnant. How did you even get into this clinic?

PM2: I have a cough.

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LMM: Good morning. How are you today?

Pregnant Mommy 3: I'm fine. But I have this pain in my head and in my toes. The pain is there all the time and then when I sneeze, my left nipple hurts.

LMM: Um...OK.

PM3: Do you have any of that porridge they give to the TB patients?

LMM: What?

PM3: You know. The porridge the TB patients get for free?

LMM: No. We don't............................Do you by any chance use Tik?

PM3: Yes.

LMM: When did you last use?

PM3: This morning. So do you have any of that free TB porridge?

LMM: No!

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LMM: Hello, how are you feeling today?

Pregnant Mommy 4: Doctor, my shit is black.

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LMM

xoxo