This week I...

...met the most wonderful patient. She was going to die. But she had the most amazing spirit.

...in true Jersey shore style, spent my weekend doing GTL (gym, tan, laundry)

...watched the new Kimye music video. What. The. Fuck. Worst song. Worst porn movie. Basically a motorbike in front of a green screen. Watch it here.

...had a sick puppy on my hands, who needed to be admitted for IV fluids. Bless

...watched the latest ANN7 fuck up. At least 5 times. Hilarious.

 (Tourette's coupled with hand turning a dial. Classic.)


What did you get up to?


LMM

xoxo

Sigh...

I realised that I am NEVER going to stop being surprised at how stupid some people are.


Little Miss Medic: So what was the reson for your previous caesarean section?

Miss Pregnant: I was pregnant.

LMM: Yes, I gathered that. But why did you have a caesar?

MP: I was giving birth.

LMM: But WHY did you have the operation? They don't just do caesars on everyone. Was there something wrong with the baby? Were you in labour too long? Anything?

MP:  Oh. I think the baby made a poop inside of me.

*this is a very common answer, not shitting you*


LMM

xoxo

Weddings, babies and extreme sports

That is all that one is plagued with on Facebook these days. Weddings, 5 million status updates on little Johnny's bowel habits, or the cray-crays that are trail running, swimming across islands or doing ironman.

Unfortunately I don't fall into either of these categories. Not married, no children and generally a lazy slob.

But the absolute worst people, are the ones who post cryptic stuff just waiting for someone to ask them more about it.

"Feeling so sad today :("

Friend: Why

"Don't wanna talk about it!"

Tip: take a razor, slash those wrists. Would make us all a helluva lot happier!

This Huffington post pretty much sums it up perfectly!

LMM

xoxo

This Last Week...

...I got bitten by some nasty bugs in the on-call room

...had almost an entire gluten free week, yay me! Yay my tummy!

...celebrated a good friend's bday with a few too many G&Ts

...got even more hooked on the latest X-factor

...went to Kamers Vol Geskenke

...saw a patient who had been pregnant 18 times! All of them miscarriages

...realized cats are taking over the world (see number 8)


Have a great week and carpe scrotum (grab life by the balls)

LMM

Xoxo

Vajazzling

Definition: to give female genitals a sparkly makeover with crystals, so as to enhance their appearance.

Note: don't read this if you are a ninny!


I thought vajazzling would not have lasted post-2010. Unfortunately it has. What a fucking stupid idea. Sticking/glueing/bonding gem like gadgets onto your parts!

Firstly, it involves meticulous grooming, which most people don't have time for, otherwise it will be like The Hunt For The Red Sparkle amidst the Amazon jungle.

Secondly, anything that involves attaching things onto your sensitive areas with a form of glue, sounds like a funny story for the casualty doctor who sees you once you can't get them off, or have second degree burns on your flower.

Thirdly. How can this be at all attractive to a male. It's sparkly for exactly 0.02 nanoseconds and then it just becomes something that causes a friction rub.

                                                                     source


That being said, a patient with a vajazzle, would sure beat someone with warts, an offensive discharge or the good old clap.



LMM

xoxo